After the Storm
by JasonHRAC
Summary: Everything was over. There was nothing to worry about anymore. Shinji and Asuka are living on the beach together. They were both together, and in their own ways, alone. But maybe over time, their loneliness could bring out their true feelings for each other. Post-Third Impact. Sort of waffy, I guess.


After the Storm  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I'm just…y'know, a writer.  
A/N: I don't find myself writing passive stories like this often, but I wouldn't consider this an experiment. Then again, I haven't exactly done this writing style either. But yeah, I hope you read, enjoy, and review.**

* * *

It seemed that everything was over. Third Impact. SEELE. Lilith. Everything was over. The only thing now was to wait for humanity to return. The truth was that only the strong at heart will be able to return to Earth. And that would take a while. But Shinji Ikari had all the time in the world now that everything was over.

He could wait. He could wait with Asuka by his side. No matter her condition, he was glad she was there with him, after all that he had done to her, and after all that she had done to him. He still couldn't let Asuka go, and especially not in her wounded condition, physically and mentally.

Approximately two days had passed after Asuka had appeared to Shinji. Two days after Shinji strangled Asuka in order to confirm that another human being was present with him. To confirm that it was human flesh he was choking. Shinji didn't exactly know why he strangled the redhead. He could've easily done something else to confirm her existence. He could've touched her face, held her hand…anything else. But instead, he chose to choke her.

Not that Shinji choking someone was normal, but in a truly normal scenario, if Asuka found herself being choked, the first thing she would've done would resist violently. Both of them knew that. But as Shinji looked into Asuka's eyes, he saw something…different. He saw something he had never seen before in her eyes. A gleam of…sadness. Loneliness.

And then she did something Shinji thought was impossible for someone like Asuka to do. She gently caressed his cheek, as if she had to say something like "I'm sorry" or "It's okay…", but no words came out. Then again, no words were necessary. The young boy broke down, let go of his friend's neck, and cried.

These would prove to be the first of many tears that were to come.

* * *

Asuka barely moved in the two days she had returned to Shinji. She mostly just sat there, never blinking, staring at the sea of LCL. Then again, she had a lot to think about. This new world was…quiet. Isolated. Lonely. Just like her.

One of the young girl's dreams included being famous. Achieving worldwide fame. Becoming a household name. Something like that. She wanted her life to be meaningful. She wanted to be praised everywhere she went. She…she just wanted to be loved.

But…there was no use in being famous if there was no one present to praise you. To love you. Asuka wouldn't admit it, not even now, but she needed care now more than ever. And she probably wouldn't get what she wanted for some time. After all, believing Shinji rejected her long ago, she found that it hurt even more when the only other person in the world didn't return the love. Asuka had always pretended to be something she wasn't; a confident young lady who always seemed to be in control of things. But in truth, whether the German girl would admit it or not, she was actually a scared young girl who just wanted to be appreciated.

After the painful experiences with the Angel that probed into her mind, her suicide attempt, her coma, and her last battle, Asuka found that even she was changing along with Shinji and this world. Her mask of confidence had been removed, and her true colors were starting to show, though she tried her best to hide this from Shinji, with little success, apparently.

Perhaps if only she had been more open…maybe things would have been different…

* * *

Shinji found that taking care of Asuka was like tending to a statue. You were taking care of something that didn't do much. It just…sat there, and yet, you take care of it because it means something to you. It inspires you to do something right in your life. Shinji had finally found someone worth living for. Someone worth fighting for. And she was right there. He would do anything for Asuka. Especially in their time of delicacy and loneliness, they needed each other now more than ever.

Neither of them had said much to each other. Asuka expressing her sick feeling when she first appeared and their small conversation about what will happen next were the only two instances where they talked that Shinji could remember off the top of his head. Then again, Shinji wouldn't know what to say anyway. He found it redundant to say something like "Good morning" or something, considering that in their position, the mornings won't be good for a while. Or the entirety of the days. Not until more people arrive. He couldn't ask how she was doing because he had a pretty good guess of how she was doing.

Shinji often thought about what might be going on Asuka's head. Maybe what she needed right now was just to be left alone. What if she was angry at him because he was unable to help her against the EVAs? There was nothing he could've done with the bakelite completely covering Unit-01, and yet…Shinji still blamed himself for his inactions. The boy wouldn't blame her if she decided to never talk to him again. Hell, he wouldn't blame her if _she _decided to strangle _him. _After all, he was the reason why this all happened. He had done all of this, and he was paying the price. There was no reason to let Asuka suffer his pain. After all, this was his burden alone. And yet…Asuka was here because she chose to be here. Why?

Still, despite what he may assume, Shinji took good care of Asuka. The boy knew that Asuka needed someone desperately in her fragile state of mind, so eventually, something compelled him to just…hug her. He held the girl he loved tightly in his arms. He held her just the way she had asked to be held. There wasn't a response, though of course, Shinji expected this. Not even a blink. Shinji wanted to say something. Anything. But he didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologize. After all, he did all this. But he couldn't form the words, nor could he bring himself to apologize to someone who always told him not to always apologize. Granted, this _was _important, and this was one of the instances in which it really was necessary to apologize, but the words stuck in Shinji's throat, and when he did come around to saying something, all that came out was a quiet and meek "Do you want me to do something for you?"

Again, no response. Shinji began to feel awkward. After all, he had forgotten what it was like to interact with another human being. He had admittedly somewhat forgotten how it felt to feel someone else with you. It was the feeling he desperately longed for. Like how part of him longed for his father to hold him and say something like "I'll never leave you again." Deep in his heart, however, Shinji knew that that was something that fantasies are made of. Something that will never happen. Ever.

Shinji considered letting go of Asuka. Perhaps she really did need space. Alright, then. It'll be no use pressing—

"Don't let go," Asuka said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Shinji blinked in surprise. "What?" He asked, partly because he couldn't comprehend what he had just heard, and partly because he sincerely didn't hear her clearly.

"Please," she said, "Don't leave me." Shinji could hear how vulnerable she was. Nodding silently, he gently hugged her tighter, and then Asuka spoke again, "Please…don't let go of me. Ever."

"I won't. I promise," Shinji replied simply. This was not going to be a promise he was going to break. He would be with Asuka for as long as she needed him, and maybe even longer than that...

It was an odd scenario. One that Shinji never could have imagined happening. The "normal" Asuka would've shoved him away, saying that she didn't need help or something of the sort. But as stated before, nothing about where they were was normal. Things were different. Times were changing. As the boy continued to hold the broken beauty, he remembered how much they seemed to be alike, and yet, at the same time, how different they were.

He had only wished things were different, but it was no use thinking about yesterday. It was far too late. Instead, looking to tomorrow was the only thing Shinji could do.

* * *

Nothing was happening at the time. So any activity at all would have surprised Asuka, just like how she was a bit surprised when she was suddenly hugged. However, she didn't react. She found that she _couldn't _react. Her eyes were too weak to suddenly widen in shock, and she could barely move her arms, so she didn't move a single bit.

Why did he do that? Asuka mentally asked herself this as she realized she was beginning to hold back tears. Why was he doing this? Why were the tears coming? Why did he still care about her? By now, she was nothing more than a useless being who was incapable of doing anything useful. What did Shinji exactly see in her? Why…why did she still care about him?

She was so deep into her own thoughts that she almost didn't hear Shinji's question. "Do you want me to do something for you?" He had asked. It was a simple question, and yet, Asuka didn't know how to reply. Here Shinji was, asking if there was something he could do for her. Shinji, the dork without a backbone. Shinji, the spineless twerp who didn't know how to stand up for himself. Shinji, the boy who was constantly insulted and picked on by her. And yet, even after all that, the boy never left her side. Why?

Asuka was almost brought to tears, though she didn't forget her vow. She will never forget how she vowed to never cry again. But it was difficult. Admittedly, Asuka's behavior towards Shinji can be described as…less than pleasant. But here they were. Perhaps Shinji saw through her now cold and emotionless demeanor and spotted the gleam of sadness. Perhaps he just needed to feel another human again. The answer was unclear right now, but one thing perplexed the young girl; why did Shinji try? Even after everything Asuka had said and done to him, after all of her efforts to push him away, Shinji never left her side. Why? She wasn't worth the trouble. She wasn't worth anything anymore…

It wasn't until Asuka noticed Shinji's arms beginning to retract that she realized she didn't answer Shinji's question. Was there something he _could _do for her? Asuka didn't need to think too hard. She knew exactly what she needed right now. "Don't let go," she whimpered. It was hard for her to say this. It was difficult to admit that she was vulnerable. It proved to be very challenging to swallow her pride, what little of it was left anyway.

The teenaged girl noticed Shinji blink and proceed to say "What?"

Asuka hated repeating herself, but she knew she needed to clarify herself anyway. Maybe she didn't always have to be strong. "Please," she started, "Don't leave me." As she felt the security of the Japanese boy's arms tighten around her, she subtly leaned against Shinji, though he probably didn't notice. "Please…don't let go of me. Ever."

"I won't. I promise."

Asuka was pushing back what she believed were tears a few seconds ago. After hearing Shinji's words, she couldn't bring herself to hold them back, so she stopped bottling her tears. But…no tears came. Her cheek was still dry. It was as if there were no tears left to shed. Why couldn't she cry? Why couldn't she show Shinji how she truly felt?

Why couldn't she deny that she loved him?

* * *

Some time had passed after that episode with the hugging. Finding himself sitting on the far left of the shore, away from the now sleeping Asuka, Shinji couldn't even tell if it was a new day, seeing as how it looked the same every minute. Not like it exactly mattered. It could've been 10 minutes, 10 hours, or 10 days, and it still wouldn't matter to Shinji. He knew he'd spend a long time grieving over the loss of people that he could possibly have considered friends. Toji, Kensuke, Hikari (sort of?), and…and…

No, Shinji wasn't going to cry. Not again. He had to be strong. Not just for his own sake, but for Asuka's sake. But…he just wasn't brave enough to forgive himself. Kaworu wouldn't want him to cry though. Kaworu wouldn't want him to grieve over his death. To Shinji, Kaworu was more than just a mere Angel. He wasn't just a good friend. He was a great friend. He seemed to be the only person who respected Shinji with no strings attached. After all, Shinji was alone and vulnerable at the time, and though he wouldn't openly say it, he had believed that deep down, Misato, Ritsuko, and everyone else at NERV only respected him because he piloted Unit-01. His father barely respected him, but admittedly, Shinji wasn't the easiest person to work with. Then again, neither was Asuka, who didn't actually respect him at all. At least, it seemed that way. Shinji had always wondered why the German beauty was always so…rude and so…blunt. The only other person who respected Shinji like Kaworu did was Rei, but even then…

_Dammit, Shinji! No more tears. No more tears, _the boy thought to himself as he tried to hold back tears. He wasn't going to cry over Rei either. After all, it was just like what he told himself; there was no point in being sad about the past. The only thing to do that would mean something would be to look forward to the future with optimism. But Shinji knew he couldn't let go. There were just some memories that shouldn't be forgotten, regardless of how painful they are. After all, without memories and experiences, Shinji wouldn't have been molded into the man he is today.

But…no one would know. No one would have to know that he decided to make an exception just this one time. No one would have to know that he decided to cry. Just once. Just this once. The first tear, like any other tear, slid down his cheek and fell. As did the next tear. And the next. Considering wiping the tears away to be a futile effort at stopping them from coming, Shinji simply just let them run down his cheeks and touch the sand. The boy sniffled, crossing his arms and essentially holding himself. Why? Why, oh why, oh why? Why did things have to be like this?! Why couldn't things be any different?!

Shinji continued to verbally beat himself up. He could've saved this world, and instead, he chose to damn it. He had damned this Earth. But by the time he realized what he was doing, it was too late. The deed had already been done; he had already asked Rei…or rather, Lilith…to wipe out everyone for him. Because he thought the world revolved around him like the self-centered little brat that he was. Because he believed no one loved him. Because he believed people only pretended to like him because he was useful to them as the pilot of Unit-01.

_If only…if only I weren't so selfish! _Shinji thought to himself harshly. _In the end, I…I couldn't save anyone! I'm so useless, dammit!_

Eventually, Shinji found that it was time to stop crying. As he wiped away his last tears, he deduced that it was now time to climb out of the pool of self-hatred and face everything head-on. He knew he would have to take responsibility for his actions, and he mustn't run away. Especially not now. What kind of person would he be if he just ran away right now? Again? What kind of person would he be to leave Asuka behind just for his own selfish gains? What would he gain other than the false and temporary hope that he could successfully escape? Nothing. Nothing at all.

So Shinji stood up and did exactly what he vowed to do; he wouldn't run away. He would take responsibility along the way. He knew there would be tears. He knew there would be sadness. But he also knew there would be change. Redemption. Sometimes, sad things had to happen just so good things could happen. It was like the saying; "It's always darkest before the dawn." It would have to get worse and worse before it would get better. And the former pilot was ready for whatever would come to him.

As he turned around to look at Asuka, who seemed to have woken up, Shinji couldn't help but smile a bit. He knew he wouldn't have to face these things alone. He would travel along this rocky road alongside the girl he loved. As he began walking back towards Asuka, his genuine smile widened a bit. His eyes might have been deceiving him, but Shinji could've sworn he saw Asuka smile back. It was a very small smile, but still a smile nonetheless. An…awkward attempt at a smile, if not just a light pursing of the lips, one might say. It was actually possibly the most beautiful thing Shinji had seen in a long time.

By the time he reached Asuka, he knelt down next to her as the girl got up from the ground and tried to get some sand off her back and her hair with her good arm. Emphasis on "tried," as it looked to Shinji that Asuka was having difficulty moving her good arm. However, Shinji proceeded to gently take her hand and lead it away from her hair. He wanted to say something, but yet again, the words were stuck in his throat. Except this time, he knew what he wanted to say. Maybe part of the reason why his words couldn't get out was because he was afraid of how Asuka would react. What if she'd think he was just a pervert trying to take advantage of her? What if she'd totally just reject his so-called "advance" because she just wasn't interested? Shinji sighed silently, gently squeezing Asuka's hand. The boy who had just become a man looked deep into the eyes of the girl and rather quickly found the lonesomeness that he so wanted to wash away with his care. And yet, how was he going to drive away the negative emotions if he couldn't even bring himself to say just a simple phrase or two? He wanted to say those words and break free from the cage that held and bottled his emotions, but all else he would will himself to do was stroke her cheek lovingly, much like how she did to him when she first appeared on the beach.

_You're so beautiful, Asuka. I love you._

* * *

Sleeping on the sand was not as comfortable as it sounded. At all. First off, Asuka had to lie down on the sand knowing that all of that stuff would get on her body and her hair, which bothered her. It didn't help that it wasn't the environment she (and every other normal person for that matter) was used to. She was used to a nice bed with a pillow and blanket inside a quiet house with air-conditioning, instead of the not-so-great outdoors with the constant sound of the waves of the LCL sea. Oh, well. At least the temperature was fine. It wasn't too hot, nor was it too cold. It was just right. At least that part was okay.

But this time, Asuka found that she couldn't sleep. Not tonight. No matter how long she forced her eyes closed, she just wouldn't fall asleep. As she shifted her body to face the left, Asuka noticed Shinji essentially just sitting there for some odd reason. What was the stupid guy doing now? She narrowed her eye at Shinji, trying to get a better look at what exactly he was doing over there. It seemed easier said than done, considering one of Asuka's eyes was covered by an eye-patch, and the last time she checked, that eye was her better eye, if only by a little bit.

At first, he seemed to just be sitting there doing nothing. Asuka didn't know why she kept on looking if he wasn't doing anything interesting. Then again, he had always been like that. A boring guy. And yet, at the same time, he somehow managed to be an _interesting _boring guy, if that even made any sense.

After continuing to stare blankly, Asuka could see faintly that Shinji seemed to be wiping something off his face. Couldn't possibly be tears, could it? What would Shinji have to cry about anyway? After all, according to him, everything was all over and the two of them could push everything behind and move on. At least, he said something like that in an earlier conversation. The first full conversation they had after Asuka had returned to Shinji. The ex-pilot tried to sound so sure when talking about moving on, though Asuka could tell that even he didn't believe what he was saying. After all, you don't just simply forget traumatic events like these. And one couldn't get more traumatic than dying. But she'd rather not think about being dead.

As Shinji stood straight up on his feet, he stood there for several seconds, as if he were in deep thought. Then again, the only reason why Asuka would assume he's thinking deeply is because he's just standing there. After all, Asuka often found herself remarking that a bonehead like Shinji wasn't capable of thinking deeply, let alone infer the feelings of others. Asuka breathed, closing her eyes for a second or two, remembering what she believed was her rejection. That fateful day she decided to kiss him just "for fun." Her heart ached deeply. She hated herself for being so closely attached to a fool like him, and yet…she knew that he still wouldn't want her to hate herself. In fact, if he'd let her hate anyone, the only person he'd let her hate would be him.

Eventually, Stupid Shinji himself seemed to have gotten out of his head and began walking back towards her. Lightly but brightly, he made a sure smile, looking straight at Asuka. She couldn't help but blush lightly. Despite her personal opinions of Shinji, she still loved him, but perhaps if it was what he wanted, she'd be willing to let him go. After all, no one in their right mind would want to stay with _her._

Still, Shinji's warm smile somehow managed to bring out a smile from her too. At least, an awkward attempt at a smile. God, Ikari is probably thinking the same thing. Still, perhaps it was her eye smiling more than her mouth. Her eye gave out a shine of brief happiness, while her lips barely curved, if at all. As Shinji drew closer to her, Asuka practically forced herself to sit up, though it looked a lot easier than it was. Suddenly becoming aware of the material that might be on her, Asuka did her best to wipe the sand off her back and hair. It was painful, though. While she could barely move her patched arm at all, Asuka found that her "good" arm was far sorer for some odd reason.

Before she knew it, she felt a warm hand touch hers. Shinji's hand, obviously. The two young teenagers found themselves staring into each other's eyes. Asuka would want nothing more than to break away from her prison of seclusion. To reject her fake independence and admit that she wanted someone. No, not wanted. _Needed._ Shinji opened his mouth ever so slightly, as if he were about to say something, but he didn't actually say anything. He closed his mouth as quickly as he opened it with a quiet sigh, and proceeded to put his hand on her cheek.

Initially, she shied away from the touch, but calmed herself and stopped resisting. After all, it was only Shinji. Only Stupid Shinji. The girl loved the idiot, though. However, if this cowardly idiot wasn't going to confess his feelings for her, then perhaps she'd have to force him out from the cage. After all, it was easy to gather that perhaps Shinji didn't actually reject her all that time ago. If he didn't care, why was he still here? Maybe the boy she loved was just scared, but then again, so was she. But both of them had to be brave. She began shaking a bit. After all, it was like she was going to make a leap of faith with the words she was about to say, but would never think twice about her decision. It had to be now.

"Shinji…I love you."

* * *

Shinji blinked, stopping dead in his tracks, his hand freezing right where it was as if he was staring right into the eyes of Medusa. But he didn't look…scared. More…surprised. That was actually the last thing he had expected Asuka to say. And now that she had actually said it, he wasn't exactly sure how to respond. But then, maybe simplicity is always the best answer. It was actually a bit depressing. Knowing that at 14 years old, this was the first time Shinji, as far as he could remember, was told he was loved. His mother died before he could remember so for all he knew, she could've said she loved him plenty of times, but it wouldn't matter, since he didn't remember. His teacher never exactly cared for him _deeply_. His heart was in the right place…sort of. And his father…well, enough talk about his father.

Composing himself rather quickly, Shinji lowered the hand touching her cheek and very delicately clasped her bandaged hand so that both of their hands were touching. Making meaningful eye contact with his dear friend, Shinji produced a reply. "I…I love you too, Asuka," he stated. Saying those words was like having weights as heavy as the Evangelions lifted off his shoulders, and having an empty void in his heart suddenly filled up with something pleasant. The pleasant sensation of loving and the pleasant sensation of being loved.

Asuka's eyes widened in great surprise. She smiled at him. A bigger and more genuine smile than last time. It was a smile that would've said "I feel safe knowing you love me." But the lips producing the smile instead simply said "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for…for loving me," she said, practically whispering the last part as she buried her face into Shinji's shoulder. She was past everything she had pretended to be previously now. She was done pretending to be the one in control. She was done pretending to be the confident one. She was done pretending she didn't care.

As Asuka pulled back away from Shinji and looked at him again, she gently squeezed his hands as he did hers. Shinji decided to make a bold move then. A very bold move, indeed. He began to lean forward, inching towards Asuka, intending to touch her lips with his. A kiss with true meaning, maybe.

However, he stopped as he noticed Asuka subtly inched away from him, shying away. "Shinji, I…"

"It's okay, Asuka," he whispered lightly, deciding it was best to not press too hard. After all, they had _just _professed their love for each other. Perhaps he'd be moving too fast if he decided to lean in for a kiss right away—

Shinji's thoughts were interrupted when something smashed into his lips. It didn't take a nuclear physicist to affirm that Asuka wanted to be the one to kiss Shinji, which she did.

This kiss had more meaning than the first kiss they had. That kiss was hollow, and didn't have meaning in it, as opposed to this one, where both of the lovers poured their hearts and souls into this deep moment of passion and affection.

And like that, it became quite clear that one couldn't be alone as long as there was at least one other person on the face of the planet. As long as there was another being left on Earth, there was still a chance for harmony, peace, and devotion.

* * *

_I'll never leave you, Asuka. I'll stick by your side forever. I love you, and I will always love you. Thank you for…helping me._

_I'll always be with you, Shinji. Nothing will tear us apart. I won't let anything happen to us. Thank you for…giving my life meaning._

* * *

**A/N: So, what did you guys think? Was I too heavy on the inner monologues and stuff? Did I characterize Shinji and Asuka as they probably would be after the events of EoE? Was this easy to follow? Did I make this work? Please, by all means, let me know what you think by reviewing.**


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